The content roast engine

Your content is mid.

Fix it.

Brutal AI roasts that tell you exactly why your video will flop — and what to change. For creators who are done posting into the void.

1 free roast / week $24.99 monthly $149 annual · 7-day trial

vs. every other tool

Most virality scorers give you a number. We give you a roast, the receipts, and what to actually fix.

7
categories scored
~60s
upload to insight
10
ideal posts library
0
videos retained after analysis

How it works

Upload. Roast. Fix.

No mystery algorithm. No black-box scoring. Just 60 seconds between an honest video and an honest critique.

01
Upload

Pick any video from your camera roll — TikTok, Reels, Shorts, X, LinkedIn. Up to 3 minutes.

02
Get roasted

7-category analysis. Three savage one-liners. A letter grade. Specific fixes referenced to real moments in your video.

03
Fix and rescore

Apply the notes. Re-upload. Watch your score climb. Build the habit of unmidifying every video before you post it.

7 Categories of Mid

We score value like we score hook.
Polished slop is still slop.

Every competitor scores viral mechanics. We're the only one that asks whether the video is actually worth watching.

Pacing
15%

Every second without movement = viewers leaving.

CTA
10%

End with purpose or end with nothing.

Visual
10%

Bad lighting undoes great content.

Trend
10%

The algorithm rewards fluency. Speak its language this week.

Audio
5%

Bad audio is an instant skip. Cheapest fix in content creation.

The Ideal Posts Library

Tell us what good looks like to you.

Upload up to 10 videos you consider top-tier — your own viral posts, creators you emulate, moments that land. Unmidify reverse-engineers why each one works, then uses those patterns to personalize every future roast.

  • Taste-matched analysis, not generic scoring
  • 3-5 specific "why this works" reasons per ideal
  • Patterns applied to every roast after

IDEAL #01 — HORMOZI 0:32 HOOK

Pattern-interrupt + contrarian claim in 2 seconds.

1

Cold-opens mid-sentence with a contrarian claim — pattern-interrupt + value promise in 2 seconds.

2

Direct-address eye contact, no intro, no logo — zero frame waste.

3

The Hormozi/Naval template. Replicable: lead with the punchline, explain after.

Pricing

Pay once a month. Roast unlimited.

No credits. No rationing. No three-tier pricing spreadsheet.

Monthly

$24.99 / mo
  • Unlimited roasts
  • Full Ideal Posts library
  • Every premium feature
  • Cancel anytime

No trial. Full price from day 1.

Free tier: 1 roast per week. Enough to hook. Not enough to rely on.

One rule above all

Polished slop is still slop.

You can nail the hook, the pacing, the visuals, the CTA — and still post mid content if the video doesn't deliver anything. Start with value. Everything else sharpens it.

Frequently asked

Common questions.

What does Unmidify actually do?

You upload any video. In ~60 seconds our AI returns a roast that grades 7 dimensions, points out exactly what's killing your reach, and tells you how to fix it with specific actionable notes. Then you fix and rescore.

How is this different from Go Viral or other scorers?

Most competitors give you a single number and call it done. We give you a savage roast, category-by-category breakdowns, specific fixes referenced to top creators, a fix-and-rescore loop, and — critically — we score VALUE alongside hook. A video with a perfect hook and nothing to say is still mid.

Does my video actually go to the AI? Is it stored?

Your video is transmitted to our servers for analysis and deleted immediately after processing (under 60 seconds). We don't retain video content, full transcripts, or use your content for AI model training. Full details in the privacy policy.

Can I cancel anytime?

Yes. Subscriptions are managed through your Apple ID. Cancel from your device settings — you keep access through the end of your billing period. Annual subscribers who cancel during the 7-day trial are not charged.

When is Android coming?

After iOS is proven and stable. Building the right thing first. Email contact@deskwolf.ai to be notified when Android drops.

The tone feels aggressive. Are you going to be rude to me?

We're savage toward bad content decisions, never toward the creator. You're brave for submitting your work to real criticism. The villain is lazy content, not you.

Ready

Unmidify your content.
Before you post it.

Free this week. $24.99 monthly. $149 annual with a 7-day free trial.

Or email contact@deskwolf.ai if you're lost.